IT’S ALWAYS SUNNY IN PHILADELPHIA – Mac confronts Charlie about his office conspiracy theories involving Pepe Silvia. Comedic Monologue For Teen/Young Adult Male Actors. 1-2 Min.
CHARLIE: Now that right there is the mail. Let’s talk about the mail. Can we talk about the mail, please, Mac? I’ve been dying to talk about the mail with you all day, OK?
“Pepe Silvia,” this name keeps coming up over and over again. Every day Pepe’s mail keeps getting sent back to me. Pepe Silvia! Pepe Silvia! I look in the mail, and this whole box is Pepe Silvia!
So I say to myself, “I gotta find this guy! I gotta go up to his office and put his mail in the guy’s goddamn hands! Otherwise, he’s never going to get it and he’s going to keep coming back down here.”
So I go up to Pepe’s office and what do I find out, Mac? What do I find out?! There is no Pepe Silvia. The man does not exist, okay? So I decide, “Ohhhh shit, buddy, I gotta dig a little deeper.” There’s no Pepe Silvia? You gotta be kidding me! I got boxes full of Pepe!
All right. So I start marchin’ my way down to Carol in HR and I knock on her door and I say, “Caroooool! Carooool! I gotta talk to you about Pepe!” And when I open the door what do I find? There’s not a single goddamn desk in that office! There is…no…Carol in HR. Mac, half the employees in this building have been made up. This office is a goddamn ghost town.