funny

DROP DEAD JULIET – Mercutio talks about Queen Mab. Comedic Monologue for Teen Male. 1 Min. Mercutio: That queen Mab came me by. She is the fairies’ midwife, and she comes In shape no bigger than an agate stone. In ...

DROP DEAD JULIET – Juliet confronts the audience about a better story than “Romeo and Juliet.” Comedic Monologue for Teen Female. 1 Min. Juliet: Did I say Quit? Did anyone say quit? I’m not quitting. I just want a better ...

BYE BYE BIRDIE JR – Mama (Mrs. Peterson) tells her son about riding the subway. Comedic Monologue for Teen Female. 1 Min. MAMA aka Mrs Peterson: (Albert’s Mother, speaking to him) Don’t worry about me, sonny…. I’m just a little ...

SINGING IN THE RAIN JR – Kathy mistakes movie star Don Lockwood for a criminal. Comedic Monologue for Teen Female. 1 Min. Kathy: Leave me alone. You’re a criminal. I’ve seen that face someplace. You’re a famous gangster. I’ve seen ...

SHREK JR – Lord Farquaad tortures information out of Gingy. Comedic Monologue for Kid Male. 1 Min. FARQUAAD: Listen cookie, you still haven’t told me where the princess is. Oh, she’s in a dragon-guarded castle surrounded by hot lava. Well that ...

SHREK JR – Shrek’s opening monologue. Comedic Monologue for Kid Male. 1 Min. Shrek: Once upon a time there was a little ogre named Shrek, who lived with his parents in a bog by a tree. It was a pretty ...

MADAGASCAR JR – King Julien welcomes the animals and bullies Mort. Comedic Monologue for Kid Male. >1 Min. King Julien: Welcome, you cavalcade of weirdos! Please feel free to bask in my glow. We thank you for saving the insignificant ...

MADAGASCAR JR – Melman whines about being transferred. Comedic Monologue for Kid Male. 1 Min. Melman: Oh, no. No, no. I can’t be transferred. I have a dermatology appointment with Dr. Goldberg at two, acupuncture with Dr. Wu at the ...

LION KING JR – Timon welcomes Simba. Comedic Monologue for Kid Male. >1 Min. TIMON: Welcome to our humble abode! Listen kid, if you’re gonna live with us, you gotta eat like us. I’m tellin’ ya, kid – this is ...

JUNIE B. JONES JR – Junie B writes a journal entry. Comedic Monologue for Kid Female. >1 Min. JUNIE B: Dear First Grade journal. Yay! Yay! Hooray! Today is the last week before winter break! Winter break is the school ...

ELF JR. – Buddy sings for all to hear. Comedic Monologue for Kid Male. 1 Min. BUDDY THE ELF: I just like smiling. Smiling is my favorite! Sounds like someone needs to sing a Christmas Carol, don’t you know the ...

ELF JR. – Santa explains Buddy’s story. Comedic Monologue for Kid Male. 1 Min. SANTA: Once upon a time there was this young woman, Susan Welles, she had a baby, but she passed away soon after he was born. That ...

BEAUTY AND THE BEAST JR – Gaston once again tries to impress Belle. Comedic Monologue for Kid Male. 1 Min. GASTON: (To Belle, Handing her flowers) For you…Mademoiselle. I know I shouldn’t have, so don’t mention it. Belle, this is the ...

“I like warm hugs” from the musical “Frozen Jr.” Olaf meets Sven. Comedic Monologue for Kid Male. >1 Min. OLAF: Okay. Let’s start this thing over. Hi everyone, I’m Olaf, and I like warm hugs. And who’s the funky-looking donkey? Ah-huh. ...

“You must not fight” from the film “Aristocats.” The Duchess teaches the kittens how to act. Comedic Monologue for Kid Female. >1 Min. Written by: Larry Clemmons, Frank Thompson, Ralph Wright, et. al. DUCHESS: Now kittens, you must not fight. Toulouse! ...

“My Name is Happy Gilmore” From the film “Happy Gilmore.” Happy Gilmore’s opening monologue. Comedic Monologue For Teen/Young Adult Male. 3 Min. a by: Tim Herlihy and Adam Sandler Happy: My name is Happy Gilmore. Ever since I was old enough to ...

“Nice to be back” From the Animated Film “Aladdin.” The Genie pops out of its lamp. Comedic Monologue for Kid/Teen Male. 2 Min. Written by: Roger Allers, Ron Clements, Ted Elliot, et. al. Genie: Aaaaahhhhh! OY! Ten-thousand years will give ya ...

“But do you have the common courtesy to call me and tell me that you will be twenty-five minutes late?” from the TV Show “Full House”. Uncle Jesse is fed up with being a housewife. 3-4 Min. JESSE: Give me a break… Don’t ...

“I’m such a good friend” From the Film “Mean Girls.” Gretchen finally snaps and tells the truth about Regina. Comedic Monologue For Teen Female Actor. 1 Min. Written by: Tina Fey GRETCHEN: I mean, if you even knew how mean she really ...

IT’S ALWAYS SUNNY IN PHILADELPHIA – Mac confronts Charlie about his office conspiracy theories involving Pepe Silvia. Comedic Monologue For Teen/Young Adult Male Actors. 1-2 Min. CHARLIE: Now that right there is the mail. Let’s talk about the mail. Can we talk ...

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