“Birdman” – Male Teen/Young Adult – Dramatic

“Can we not do this please?” from the film “BIRDMAN” Riggan produces a play to revive his career. Dramatic Monologue for Male Teen/Young Adult Actors. 1-2 Min.

Written by: Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu, Nicolas Giacobone, Armando Bo, and Alexander Dinelaris

SAM: Can we not do this, please? Dad! That’s chunky peanut butter… oh, that’s pot. Relax, relax. I can’t do this to you? Oh, yeah, you’re talking about you, what else is new? That thing where I make it about me? This is not important! That means something to who?

You had a career, Dad, before the third comic book movie. Before people started to forget who was inside that bird costume. You are doing a play based on a book that was written sixty years ago for a thousand rich old white people whose only real concern is gonna be where they go to have their cake and coffee when it’s over. No one gives a shit but you!

And let’s face it, Dad, you are not doing this for the sake of art – you are doing this because you want to feel relevant again. Well, guess what – there is an entire world out there where people fight to be relevant every single day and you act like it doesn’t exist.

Things are happening in a place that you ignore, a place that – by the way – has already forgotten about you. I mean, who the fuck are you? You hate bloggers, you mock Twitter, you don’t even have a Facebook page. You’re the one who doesn’t exist! You’re doing this because you’re scared to death – like the rest of us – that you don’t matter. And you know what? You’re right. You don’t. It’s not important, okay? You’re not important. Get used to it.

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