EXT: OUTSIDE OF DEREK’S HOUSE.
Beth, a girl of about thirteen, is standing on the steps, trying to summon the courage to ring the doorbell.
You can do this. He likes you. He told you so. Use your words, Beth.
(She takes a deep breath and rings the doorbell. After a moment, Derek, a boy
her age, answers the door. Before he can say a word, she freezes like a deer in
the headlights and speaks very rapidly without taking a breath)
I know you asked me out next Friday and I still really want to go but you didn’t say where you were going to take me-not that you need to because I really like surprises!-but I thought you should know that I’m allergic to dairy and wheat and I also probably shouldn’t have peanut butter even though it only made me breathe weird for like a day, my mom is really psycho about it but I don’t want to be difficult or anything and I think whatever you pick will be great but I’d also just like to know where it will be so I can find out if I can bike there or if my mom should drive me because she said she would if it was over the highway because I’m not allowed to bike over the highway and oh my god I’m being weird I’m so sorry never mind see you at school okay thanks sorry bye.
(Bolts. Gets to the other end of the stage and presses her hands
to the side of her head, completely mortified.)
Oh my god I can’t believe how stupid that sounded. Shut up shut up shut up, Beth, you are such a moron. Beth, why are you like this? Ugghhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Okay. Okay, you’re so stupid.
(Grabs a notebook from her purse, scribbles something on it, rips it out,
and folds it up. Walks back to the house a little more calmly, and rings
the bell. When Derek answers, she forces herself to speak more slowly.)
Hi. Sorry, you know, about that. I just…um…wanted to make sure we were…you know…on the same page. About Friday.
(What feels like an unbearably long pause. She speaks a little faster.)
Anyway, I know I should have just texted you those questions and I totally understand if you don’t like me anymore but just…just don’t say anything right now, just take this-
(Hands him the paper)
And just mark yes or no and give it back to me in homeroom and I’ll just see you then, okay? Thanks. Sorry. Bye.