Pretty Theft – Teen Female – Comedy

“Well I wouldn’t shut up, would I?” From the play, “Pretty Theft.” In this monologue Suzy shoplifts. Ideal for Teen Females – 1-3 Minutes.

By: Adam Szymkowicz

Well I wouldn’t shut up, would I? When you don’t shut up, the boys notice you. Course, eventually you realize no one was really listening. And you stop speaking up in class—realize maybe you weren’t saying anything anyway—not something someone else couldn’t say better–usually a boy. And the boys who seemed to be listening to you weren’t quite the right boys.

(Stuffing her pockets.)
So you stopped talking. But then you realize if you lift up your shirt there are boys that like that too. But maybe those aren’t quite the right boys either because then later those boys want to see what’s in your pants. And want to put themselves in you even if you’re not ready and maybe those aren’t the right boys either but at least they need you for a few minutes.

(Stuffing her bag.)
Then you go after your friend’s boyfriend because it’s wrong and it’s fun and because your friend is pretty. And you get him but once you
have him, you realize he’s no good. And your friend hates you. But you do it again anyway to another friend. And the girls all begin to hate
you. They call you a skank and they call you a whore. But some of the boys like you some of the time. But they think you’re a slut. So you
embrace it because what else can you do? You buy a t-shirt that says “Fuckdoll” and a series of short skirts and you try on provocative

Link to full play here:

You may also like