“Andy, c’mon IN!” from the film “Man on the Moon.” George excitedly tells Andy he’s going to be on a show called Taxi, and Andy refuses to do it. George talks him into it, then Andy writes his terms, which are ridiculous. Ideal for Adult Males in their 20s-30s. 1-2 Mins.
Written By: Scott Alexander and Larry Karaszewski
ANDY and GEORGE:
INT. SHAPIRO/WEST – DAY
George jumps from his desk. Andy is walking in.
Andy, c’mon IN! Thanks for flyin’
The stewardess let me keep my
That’s… terrific! But I got
something better. This is BIG…
(giddy; milking the
You are getting a once-in-a-
lifetime, unbelievably lucrative
opportunity to star on… a
PRIMETIME NETWORK SITCOM!!!!
Andy’s smile drops. He freezes up.
And this is a CLASS ACT! It’s the
guys who did the Mary Tyler Moore
and Bob Newhart shows! It takes
place in a taxi stand! And you’re
gonna be the Fonzie!
I’m — Fonzie?
NO! The Fonzie! The crazy breakout
character! The guy that all the
kids impersonate and put on their
George, I hate sitcoms.
HANG ON, you ain’t heard the best
part! ABC has seen your foreign man
character, and they want to turn him
(he checks his
“Latka,” a lovable, goofy
Long pause. Then — Andy responds.
“No”? “No” to which part??
No to the whole thing. None of it
George is flummoxed.
Andy… this is every comedian’s
I told you, I’m not a comedian. And
sitcoms are the lowest form of
entertainment: Stupid jokes and
B-but, this is classy… they did
I’m not interested. I want to
create my own material.
Beat. George glares.
You have to do it.
LISTEN, you arrogant putz! I’ve
been in this business for twenty
years! I know! If you walk away
from this opportunity, you will
never, NEVER see another one like it
Long pause. Andy stares at George, amazed at this passion.
Then Andy gets up and looks around the office. He stares at
the awards… the gold records… emblems of success and
Andy thinks — then nods.
Okay. Fine, I’ll do it.
But I have a few terms.
Of course! That’s what negotiations
Andy starts to write on a piece of paper.
What are you doing?
Writing down my terms.
George watches patiently.
Andy clicks his pen, done. George smiles and takes the
list. He scans it… then his face gets totally befuddled.
Are you makin’ fun of me –? This
Those are my terms.
They’re IMPOSSIBLE!! Jesus!
(he points at one
I mean — “two guaranteed guest
shots for Tony Clifton”??! Who is
this TONY CLIFTON?!
He’s a Vegas entertainer. I used to
do impressions of him. We sorta…
got in a fight over that.
George gets a look.
This Clifton called me up. He’s a
loon! He HATES you!
Nah, he just talks tough. But I owe
Andy smiles ingenuously, then turns stern.
If I’m the new Fonz… ABC’s just
gonna have to give me what I want.
(a sarcastic FONZIE
George winces. He stares at the list.