Mr. Deeds Goes to Town – Adult Male – Comedic

“Say, fella, you neglected me and I feel very put out.” from the film “Mr. Deeds Goes to Town.” Drunk Mr. Morrow is impressed by Mr. Deeds. Ideal for Adult Males ranging from 36 – 50. 1-2 Mins.

Written By: Robert Riskin

MR. MORROW:

“Say, fella, you neglected me and I feel very put out. Look, sock it right there, will ya? Sock it hard. Oh, listed, the difference between them and me is, I know when I’ve been a skunk. You take me to the nearest newsstand and I’ll eat a pack of your postcards raw. Raw! Oh, what a magnificent deflation of smugness! Pal, you’ve added ten years to my life. A poet with a straight left and a right hook? Delicious. Delicious. You’re my guest from now on, forever and a day, even unto eternity…You want to go sightseeing? Fine. Fine. Swell. You’ve just shown me a sight lovely to behold, and I’d like to reciprocate. Listen, you hop aboard my magic carpet—(loses balance) and I’ll show you sights that you’ve never seen before….Wanna see Grant’s tomb and the Statue of Liberty? Well, you’ll not only see those, but before the evening’s half through you’ll be leaning against the Leaning Tower of Pisa…you’ll mount Mount Everest. I’ll show you the pyramids and all the little pyramidees leaping from sphinx to sphinx. Pal, how would you like to go on a real old-fashioned binge? Yeah, I mean the real McCoy. Listen, you play saloon with me…and I’ll introduce you to every wit, nitwit and half-wit in New York. We’ll go on a twister that’ll make Omar the soused philosopher of Persia…look like an anemic on a goat’s milk diet. Listen, I’ll take you on a bender that will live in your memory as a thing of beauty and joy forever. Boy? Boy, my headpiece. Oh, Tempora! O Mores! O Bacchus! Oh I’m drunk….(he leaves)

 

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